0 item(s) - €0.00
ANNOUNCEMENT: Following the latest guidelines of the Dutch government, we are closed and all events are cancelled until further notice.
We host online events, offer individual online counselling, and you are welcome to contact us »

Sex Is How Adults Play

NEW Sexuality Training

Sex Is How Adults Play
  • By: Female Sexuality Trainee from Germany (41)

Before the training, sex totally stressed me out. So much, that after a bad breakup I had been avoiding it for three years pretty much altogether. The few encounters during that time were disappointing and always left me with a feeling of “better no sex than this.” “Down there” was dead, or at least fast asleep. I did not get excited before or aroused during sex. At the same time I longed for intimacy and missed this part of my life dearly, and actually put myself under pressure to date and make love. But when somebody came close to me with a sexual intention – including even my own hands – I got painful cramps. And I was angry and frustrated with myself for it.

Now, after the training, my body has woken up again! I am much more relaxed about sex. The prospect of a date makes me now excited, because now I know that I don’t have to do anything I don’t like. Instead, I look forward to pleasure, relying on the signals of my body to guide me. I (re)discovered my playfulness and creativity, and that it is not all about penetration. I get aroused frequently, and I love it. I can now communicate about sex and fantasies, and I have let go of “performing.” I enjoy sometimes just to be sensual, which is a world of pleasure on its own, and I found out that most men enjoy that too. I could also let go of the belief that I have to satisfy a man sexually to be liked by him. Now I’m looking forward to explore more how to enjoy sex with a heart connection, without depending on a relationship.

One of the most significant moments in the training was when I made peace with my body. Before, the area between my legs actually disgusted me, and I felt that I was not normal somehow.  In one of the workshops (the Women’s Group) I broke down crying, mortally ashamed. That moment was the turning point. To acknowledge that shame, to let it out in a safe environment, was the key to letting it go. Now I really like my body, I love looking at it and exploring good sensations, alone as well as with a partner. Somehow I feel much more like a woman now, whole. 

It made a big difference to have a peer group of trainees that shared the year’s journey. Their support and humor helped me when I took myself too seriously. Through sharing I also got very helpful insights on the perspective of men and the processes they were going through. It changed my attitude towards the opposite sex in general. I can relate to men now on a friendship level instead of just a sexual one.

In one of the workshops someone said, “Sex is how adults play.” Before the training I would have frowned at that statement. Now I simply love it. It sums up exactly what I am looking forward to now: to connect, explore, relax, enjoy – and play!