Sex Is a Great Way to Get to Know Yourself
- 30 January 2017
The New Sexuality Training starts in March
There is one story that I love to tell during an introduction to a sexuality workshop.
A journalist asked Osho once, "Osho, why are you so obsessed with sex?" Osho smiled, leaned back in his chair and answered softly and slowly something like, "My words have been recorded in more than 200 books, only two of them are about sex, and you are saying that I'm obsessed with sex?"
Sexuality is a very delicate subject. It touches so many aspects in our beings that I'm always amazed how deep it goes. We think it's about sex when actually it's about intimacy and coming closer to ourselves and others. A participant once said after a sexuality group that in the sexuality workshops you strip yourself naked but not necessarily because of the clothes.
For me the NEW Sexuality training is very special. I joined the team two years ago with Chandrika, the training leader, Yogini, the 2nd year counsellor and Jayesh who is the counsellor of the first year together with me.
My first sexuality workshop
My first sexuality workshop at the Humaniversity goes way back to the beginning of my student program. It was a big eye opener for me. I remember sitting in the Boozeria, our nightclub, in the middle of one of the structures, crying my eyes out. Chandrika came to talk to me. She asked me why I was crying and I wasn't able to answer. Finally she suggested that perhaps I was crying because I felt I was doing something wrong. I couldn't understand what she meant.
According to myself, I was a very open-minded person. I grew up in a non-religious environment – my father was an artist, I went to art school, I lived in a big city and from my early teens I felt I could do whatever I wanted, also sexually.
It took Chandrika's remark to make me realize that all these open-minded ideas about myself were nothing more than a rebellious act. When it came to look at who I am sexually, I was completely ignorant.
I had many ideas of how I wanted to see myself sexually, but they weren't connected to my feelings. This was why the tears came. They came to show me where my heart was located, asking me to recognize its fragility and to take care.
What I learned
I learned a lot about myself during sexuality groups. I was always very scared before the group, but felt deeply grateful afterwards. I learned to accept the parts of myself that I rejected and to be able to embrace them again. I learned to communicate what I liked or didn't like in intimate situations. I also learned what other people liked or didn't like and how to take care of myself and others. Most of all I made many, many friends.
At the beginning of this article, I wrote that sexuality touches many layers. During the vision weekend last November, at the end of NEW Sexuality training year, I listened carefully as the trainees were describing the changes they had made in their lives over the past year, and I was touched and impressed. One of them changed his job, his living place, the way he relates to people and declared that he was becoming more open and soft. Another person had just begun a new relationship with a woman, which was one of his initial goals for participating in the training. He was excited to put into practice the things he had learned in the training. One woman was able to find the courage to end a relationship that wasn't 'working' and to create other desirable changes in her life. "I am much more clear about what I want when I'm with a man," said another woman. "I became more authentic," someone said. "I'm more relaxed and determined to find my way," stated someone else.
Fun, connecting and challenging
There are many reasons to love sexuality workshops. They are fun, deep, connecting, challenging and can blow your mind in a positive way. They can show you that all these rigid ideas about sex are not necessarily yours. Perhaps you’d like to drop them and enjoy sex for what it is - a healthy and pleasurable act between mature human beings.
As for myself, I'm looking forward to the new training year starting in March with Sexuality Awareness, led by Chandrika. I'm happy to enjoy another year full of juicy, fun and meaningful connections. If you find yourself intrigued or curious about the NEW Sexuality Training or sexuality groups, feel free to email me or ask for a skype appointment.
Looking forward to see you in March....